...and the shutter counts continue

it appears that i have not made a diary entry for quite some time. well, in retrospect i haven't been taking as many pictures as i used to. in fact i find myself taking less and less pictures as the years go by - only increasing my shutter counts during vacations and weekend trips away from home. 2012 was the year i concentrated solely on film photography, and by the end of 2012 i was about ready to move on to other mediums to capture my daily life. somehow, film stuck around a little bit longer in 2013, what with my purchase of the Canon AE-1, as well as my brief re-acquaintance with my Flexaret VII at the end of the year. i don't doubt the calibre of these two cameras - they are both fantastic cameras, but using these cameras is akin to tunnel vision. the only notion i have in my head is this feeling of having already tried all these cameras. where else is there for me to go in photography?

one fine day in October, i decided to ditch the analog cameras and dust out my very first camera - the 400D. all my years of shooting in film has made me pick my shots a lot more carefully, and to fully devote my attention to a single digital camera is liberating - coupled with VSCO Film for post-processing, it was like an epiphany for me. everything somehow connected and digital is finally back into my repertoire. granted i still took my Flexaret VII with me to trips, on account that i still had several boxes of film left unused, but my primary focus was to unload all my shutter counts onto my 400D. i found myself a lot more satisfied with my digital shots - and VSCO Film helped me take those shots to a different level of expressing myself through my pictures.

it hasn't been that long since i began using my 400D again, and i figured that if it's still taking proper pictures, i don't see any reason to stop using it. it was then that i had another epiphany - about how outdated my camera actually is. i'd rather not blame the camera when it comes to taking pictures in locations with less-than-satisfactory lighting conditions, but in my case, i realized how much better my pictures could've potentially turned out if i had utilized a more superior camera. this parallels my previous adulation for the AE-1 and Flexaret VII, and how at the end of the day the technology will eventually limit me. has my using of the 400D finally become my crutch?

i can't count the number of times my colleagues have japed at how i should substitute my 400D with a full frame camera. my mantra has always been If it ain't broke, why replace it?, and presently, i still breathe this mantra. however that didn't stop me from considering my upgrade options. a full frame camera definitely sounds very appealing, and the chances of me owning one by the time 2014 closes is quite possible. yet, i still hold dear my trusty 400D - good for another 10 or 20,000 shutter counts, i reckon. it's not that i don't want to work around the 400D's shortcomings - and i always find ways to work around them - by limiting my usage to an old camera, i'm only creating my own tunnel vision. isn't photography all about opening horizons, and discovering new sights and experiences? mayhaps an upgrade is due, but whenever it comes, i certainly will embrace it.

Deafheaven played Alt+ HQ, Kuala Lumpur

finding the gig's venue was a little bit of a challenge for me. the venue printed on the ticket says Fahrenheit 88, yet there wasn't any club or store named Alt+ HQ within the mall proper. feeling a tad worried that i'd miss the gig, i finally asked the concierge where the club was, and he directed me through not one, but two fire escape doors that led me to a hallway with hidden shoplots lining the hallway. it was along this secret hallway hidden deep within the mall that Alt+ HQ was located, reeking of stale air and nary any proper ventilation. pretty apt for a venue that purportedly hosts hardcore punk shows - hidden out of sight among the walls of a rather old mall.

in true Malaysian fashion, the show started a half hour late. the doors were scheduled to open at 8PM, though i see the two opening bands scramble into the venue at 7:30PM to make haste with their set up and soundcheck. the show opened with Ipoh shoegaze band, Soft playing their brand of, well, shoegaze. for their namesake, their music certainly wasn't soft - with a wall of feedback constantly barraging the listeners. i was pretty sure that throughout the night, no other band killed my hearing more than Soft did. the only thing i remember from Soft's performance was the wall of guitar feedback, the soft thudding of the drums, and the rather strange sight of the vocalist miming the lyrics because all i could honestly hear was the feedback. perhaps this is how a shoegaze gig looks like.

the second band, Daighila, whom supposedly have toured the international circuit with their brand of hardcore punk, was actually a lot more entertaining to watch. their performance had a lot of energy, and the vocalist was apeshit throughout the band's performance. it was hilarious to see the vocalist throw himself into the crowd, because the crowd clearly are not seasoned for hardcore gigs. several times a mosh pit was on the brink of actualizing, but fortunately not everyone was game. nobody likes a mosh pit.

in between Deafheaven setting up for their performance, the venue's emcee/hypeman, Mr. Big, gave an awkward banter to get the crowd hyped up. he felt mostly silent halfway through, constantly looking at the stage exit while anxiously waiting for the band to finish their set up so he could get off the stage.

enter Deafheaven - bathed in pink lights and opening with Dream House. the band played the entirety of their latest record, Sunbather (minus the interludes), which is great because Sunbather's mistaken identity was the reason i decided to check this gig out in the first place. the band gave a rousing performance with every note intact and delivered with passion and overwhelming energy. the vocalist, George Clarke, was a magnetic sight to behold. he is charismatic, and somewhat elegant in his posturing and mannerisms. Deafheaven's music exudes warmth and catharsis, and it reflects in George's constant interaction with the crowd - holding out his hands into the crowd, waiting to be embraced, or the band member's constant urge to stage dive and crowdsurf. as the band reached the crescendo of The Pecan Tree, the crowd was ecstatic to receive George's stage dives, and they carry him like he carries his emotions while he performs - fragilely and enthusiastically.

as i stumbled out of the venue, slightly disoriented from the loudness, i make my way down a smoky and dingy flight of stairs, littered with cigarette butts, empty cans, and torn posters. it seemed to go on forever when i finally emerged outside of the building along a dodgy street, breathing in the relatively fresh KL air. the gig-goers were lighting up outside the exit, and some were making their way to the 7-11 next door after sweating it all out in the poorly ventilated venue to grab a bottle of water. i paid for my bottle of 100 Plus and left the 7-11, trying to figure out where i was while containing the post-gig excitement and adrenaline that threatened to seep out of my pores. i walked away from this gig, glowing, tired, but feeling very much alive. the city lights of Bukit Bintang never looked so beautiful, and the air so cool. i didn't care how much my ears were ringing, nor did i worry about how much parking was going to cost. it was a gig - a moment in time - that will forever remain etched in my memory. a moment where i felt alive - alive of the life-affirming kind.

Seoul On Film

i love Seoul.

Meopta Flexaret VII

Fuji Pro 160NS