2 Dec.

Central Park

walking around the Astaka field, i had roughly drafted what i planned to write in this entry - alas i didn't jot any of it down and i've completely forgotten everything i wanted to say. but i do remember how i've always wanted to take a little stroll around this field - located right behind my high school. many times during gym class the guys would be found playing soccer at the field while the other not-so-sporty ones (like yours truly) would be ambling about by the side, either making small talk or walking around without any particular goal but to wait out the gym period to end.

this field also holds memories of my form six years. chicks and dudes who drove to school parked their auto-voitures here. there's always this image within my memory where i'm seeing one of my friends studying in his auto-voiture and my buddy and i would come up to him and made small talk before heading off. another time, my biology groupmates and i were digging up the soil in search for bugs (if i'm not mistaken) and counting the population of plants in a given space. we'd stay back after school to complete our biology experiments and made small talk during lunch.

quite some years have passed from those events and the images are still vivid within my mind - arbitrary and forever evolving with the passage of time - like the kinds of small talk i make with new faces or faces i wouldn't normally have regular conversations with. i'm learning to accept that sometimes it's better to make small talk rather than to not speak at all. i may always be the outsider - like one of the guys who walk around the sidewalks in the Astaka field aimlessly, not playing soccer like the other guys. but sometimes it's better to compromise, and make that small talk.