8 Dec.

Move on

yesterday i finished reading Douglas Coupland's Hey Nostradamus. compared to 1Q84, this one only took me a week to finish. the fact that Nostradamus is only a quarter of 1Q84's page count doesn't justify the speedy read - i was drawn by Coupland's (COPE, not COOP) post-modernist narration of characters directly and indirectly involved with a highschool massacre in the story. i find myself unable to relate to the grief the characters went through, yet i am drawn by their sadness - their struggle in coming to terms with losing lovers, and questioning the validity of god amongst all the suffering. i find myself absolutely drawn to a survivor's struggle to move on from the death of his wife, post-massacre. the way i process it is somewhat akin to a break up, when one party is badly affected by the separation and is unable to get him/herself together post-separation. loving someone to the point where separation is unbearable may be drama fodder, but as i perceive it from this book and real life, i understand that when rooted feelings are ripped out forcibly, the injury may or never be healed. until today i never quite understood the healing process, and sometimes i find myself questioning how some people never seem to bounce back. maybe i lack empathy. maybe i'm not used to how people cannot simply shrug their problems off their shoulders. i'm probably insensitive for not being able to sympathize. but sometimes, once the grieving period is done with, it's better to set aside your emotions and move on.